Her question was answered by the nurse practitioner based on evidence‐based practice literature. I could not go anywhere and when my mom was taking care of me....I was the transportation. It is a horrible unnatural burden and I know some men and marriages don’t survive. He'll come around. He is my second husband, and the love of my life. I enjoy his company: he is charming, intelligent and considerate. The feeling I get is so strong it's like he has actually just walked into the room. I see it is usual for them to lash out on their loved ones by the other comments. The thing that bothers me … It may help to think things through together. Months after chemo, I still have health issues. I’m praying everyday.My question is it me is he losing interest or is this normal? ‘I’ll go on my own, if I’m going to kark it I doubt it’ll be before 8pm’. Nearly all couples feel more stress than usual when cancer occurs. My husband has stage 3 lung cancer.He is responding to treatment.He has constantly retreated from me.He barely speaks to me,is very nasty and is more incosiderate than usual.Cancer is killing my marriage.I thought that we would deal with this together but hes so awful that i don't know how much i can take.He's been taking treatments for 5 months now and have shrunk the tumors over 50%.I cannot figure out whats going on with him.He will not speak to me and when he does its always hateful and hurtful.I know hes scared but we are making progress. Your dates don't have to be fancy. Usually, people move beyond the anger to other emotions, and hopefully your husband will, too. I feel very unwanted. You and your partner may need to be a team now more than ever. Some common examples are the loss of libido caused by chemotherapy and hormonal therapy, the impotence caused by prostate cancer treatments, and the body image effects of mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. That would make most people mean, at least for awhile. Some relationships get stronger during cancer treatment. I can honestly say that I rarely feel lonely alone, yes, but there´s a big difference between that and loneliness. Your spouse or partner may feel just as scared by your cancer as you do. Combining cancer and a rocky marriage unfortunately doesn't seem uncommon either and it certainly is a … I can only imagine you feel alone. After reading your replies, I talked to my doctor who has referred a pallative care nurse who will help me deal with my cancer and I am hoping this person will be able to help my husband to deal with his anger. I don't know why that happened, but I certainly don't think what I said was so signficant that it needed to be said twice. He too is so nasty to me. You may even find it hard to be taken care of by someone you love. Yes, yes. They said no more radiation and only palliative chemo. He constantly puts me down and critisizes everything!!! And on a purely practical level, I figure I may well become a serious burden on somebody before I'm done by no choice of my own, so they don't need me to be a PITA before the fact. You both also I will keep in thoughts and prayers. I still have snappish days. On the contrary, he started to criticize, mock at me and use rude words even more often. But... sometimes I can't take it. I am so sorry. I did not say no to most of the changes but some made me snap a bit. A few people have asked me if this is a “premonition” type dream and if they should get a medical check up for cancer. I am hoping he will accept this help, otherwise I will leave him. That leaves me as her Husband, her therapist, her advocate, her … Its hard for him to see, even though you don't have cancer, you are going through something also... trying to cope with this situation your husband is going through. I was a caregiver to my mother in law when she had terminal cancer. is a very hard thing to have @this time. My husband and I have been married for 46 years, mostly very happily. Just about every day for the nine months of her treatment, her breast cancer topped the hit parade of most popular topics in our household. I have found that alot of cancer men are like this. This will help you plan for the upcoming weeks and months. I saw a shrink when I was caregiving my mother in law. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. The only area in which I've found myself with a shorter fuse, and I'm probably a bad person for feeling this way, is with people who previously didn't give me the time of day (or actively made things difficult for me) and somehow find me OK now that I've experienced a deadly disease. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to help him or that he might not recover. It seems like the only thing we wish for at this point! As the great Marilyn once said ‘if you can’t handle me at my worse, you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best’. If you do not find the exact resolution you are looking for, then go for a native or higher resolution. It's about spending time together. There is no manual for Husbands of cancer, we are left to find our own way. A life changing situation. In the case of permitted digital reproduction, please credit the National Cancer Institute as the source and link to the original NCI product using the original product's title; e.g., “Facing Cancer with Your Spouse or Partner was originally published by the National Cancer Institute.”, Complementary & Alternative Medicine (CAM), Coping with Your Feelings During Advanced Cancer, Emotional Support for Young People with Cancer, Young People Facing End-of-Life Care Decisions, Late Effects of Childhood Cancer Treatment, Tech Transfer & Small Business Partnerships, Frederick National Laboratory for Cancer Research, Milestones in Cancer Research and Discovery, Step 1: Application Development & Submission, Facing Cancer with Your Spouse or Partner, Questions to Ask When You Have Finished Treatment, Communication in Cancer Care (PDQ®)–Patient Version, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Knowing how to best support each other and how to communicate, Juggling lots of roles (such as childcare, housekeeping, work, and caregiving). I'm an aries woman, my husband is a cancer man. Please check the steroid use and pain meds carefully, because these alone will do this. Others are weakened. My husband and I went through something similar, and this was in some ways the most difficult part of the cancer experience, and it was further compounded by well-meaning friends telling us how this experience would only bring us closer and show us how much we love each other (that comes later, but not during chemo when you're just trying to make it through). Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions. Others are weakened. It was so hard to be supportive and sympathetic when he was being so mean, but for some perspective--he was forced to deal with the reality that his odds of surviving were much less than what he thought they would be when he woke up that morning. For many years now, I have felt the spirit of my late Husband with me, and the love we shared while he was alive is wrapped all around me like a snuggly blanket. My husband got the call on Thursday night from his urologist - following a biopsy the previous week - the biopsy was done because the urologist said his PSA was elevated. The opponent will have to calm down too, at least in order to hear what you say. And yet sometimes talking about these things can be helpful. I’m imperfect and I embrace the real me. Not to give 2nd thought to cancer. That helped me. I've had to deal with that. i have cancer and my husband is mean to me is important information accompanied by photo and HD pictures sourced from all websites in the world. Probably 'cause it too is bitter sweet! You're not alone, and it's okay to express that you have some needs, too--you're scared and vulnerable and in pain, too, and you need someone to support you just as much as he needs someone to support him. For some reason it makes me cry but I always feel better afterwards. Is he taking them appropriately? He could also be pulling away in an attempt to lessen the pain of eventually leaving you. You can also plan these dates to include other people, if you miss being around others. That made me feel like I was loosing control over my surroundings. My husband for one. Some couples find it easier to talk about serious issues than other couples. So you may need to be okay with last-minute changes. Download this image for free in High-Definition resolution the choice "download button" below. Sometimes I feel like it would be easier to just think it wasn't there. Why Is My Husband So Mean to Me? I was about to post something like this too. I felt so bad about not being able to drive much. This doesn't mean you'll definitely get cancer if some of your close family members have it, but that you may have an increased risk of developing certain cancers compared to other people. Signs My Husband Doesn’t Love Me Anymore – If your spouse prefers to spend time before the computer, examining a guide or going out with colleagues or friends to get a beer, you almost certainly have a problem. My husband says he was doing that. If he refuses all this "stuff", then you know what you may have to do, regardless of cancer or not. I have cancer in my pelvis, small bowel & around my liver. It made sense to me – for a while. Start your feelings from scratch. My husband is well respected and he always looks at other beautiful, stylish, motherly women ( high standards ). And the previous comments about the role of medications could be spot on. I remember those steriods just, ugh, made me unhappy in my skin....but too exhausted to do anything about it....so I probably was snappish during that period of chemo. 6.30pm that evening ‘Rob, I’ve got cancer’. The situation is cancer. Husband told me he is stage 2 oral cancer, and it has spread to his neck. Google that song's lyrics. I realized my husband was not going to be the loving and caring kind of guy I dreamed he might be or that I could turn him into. It is a very old song but one with deep meaning. Only you and your partner know how you feel about this. Stage 3b lung is where we are at. I came to know recenty that these 2 were eyeing each other. He does not appear to prefer to be in your company much anymore, and he usually has some reason ready as a way to avoid seeing you. This can be as simple as letting the other person fluff your pillow, bring you a cool drink, or read to you. Many couples find that it helps to plan special occasions. I can't even try and know what she is going through. So you’d think there was nothing left unsaid about any stage of her ordeal. Great words of insight, but there´s a big i have cancer and my husband is mean to me for somebody 's..., speak with a oncology social worker, this will help you both while care. 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